Last night, I was packing for my tour with Mike Boyd, which kicks off tonight in Sudbury. I went downstairs to get my t-shirts out of the car. Going up, the elevator stopped on the first floor [i took the elevator from the basement]. In walked what looked like a mother and son. I’ve seen the son before. He always smokes weed by the garage ramp and never offers. This was my first time seeing the mother.
She caught my attention because she looked EXACTLY like SCTV’s Andrea Martin. Convniced it was her – I pulled my phone from my pocket, made sure it was on silent, pretended to text and loaded up the camera. I had to sneak a photo. So far in my neighbourhood, I’ve only snuck photos of Tie Domi and Freak Boy, who was a featured guest on Ed The Sock’s show [when he was on cable 10]. This was huge. Andrea Martin is major.
I noticed her staring into my bag of shirts. She looked up at me – at which point I realized she was NOT Andrea Martin – and said ” Does that shirt say Mr. Nobody?”
I answered, “Yes.”
She laughed, then asked, “Who would wear a shirt that says ‘I’m a Nobody’?”
I looked at her and said, “Me.”
She broke eye contact, looked up at the lit apartment-floor numbers and said “that’s hilarious.”
I don’t find it hilarious. It applies to us all. All of us who aren’t Canadian sketch show cast lookalikes, that is. I can’t imagine how amazing it must feel being her. Maybe she works upscale cocktail parties with a fake Eugene Levy and Joe Flaherty. Or the real Joe Flaherty. Maybe she’s the type that would pose for a photo, if approached by an excited Andrea Martin fan in WhatABagel. Living the life of a true Somebody!
Now I’m just being bitter. But…bitter is all I know. And I’m comfortable.
Here’s my new mixtape. Hope you likey.
ps. I called it [one] because there’s a [two] on the way. It’s going to be a busy December.
D-Sisive | The Great Mr. Nobody [one]
Love and kisses.